“My days of being an amateur gynecologist are over.”

To: A person with a cavity

From: Shystie

Dear sir or madam,

Your gynecological exam turned ugly for one of two reasons.

First - I administered the anesthesia to myself.

Or second - Because the song “Crazy Train” came on the radio.

I was wrong to trick you. And I’m glad your cousin was in the room.

Things went from bad to worse for me after my divorce. And some days are “clearer” than others.

I chased you as far as the parking lot. But I was pretty weak by then.

I have your twenty dollars.

And your cousin’s shoe.

FYI - Most doctors drive cars. Instead of walking down the street with a boom box.
Fun fact: ZZ top is actually three women with hysterectomies.
My night out on the town:

I was at a bar and I saw a guy I used to be in a band with. He’s still playing rock a billy.

Our conversation-

Guitar player: Hey this guy used to wear a wolf head and play drums!

My friends: Used to?

Me: Hey Matt, you look great, how’s rocking going?

GP: God he was an idiot!

My girl friend: Sometimes he wears it to bed.

Me: Well, what can you do?

GP: It was a riot. He used to knock over everything with it on.

My friends: Still does.

Me: Great catchin’ up. I’m sure you gotta get on stage soon.

GP: The singer hated that.

My friends: (laughing)

GP: (laughing)

Me: …Yeah.

Podcast update - The first Podcast will take place Thursday March 30th.
We’re going to do one a month. This one will be: Shed of Mystery 1&2.
For people with Itunes I think we’ll be listed under the “Anarchy” section.
More to come on that.

Thanks for your patience everybody. I still figuring out how the fonts work.

NEXT WEEK: I’m loading all the past updates.